Here are 5 reasons why you might not be able to organize by yourself. I’ll just start with mine. I prided myself on having things tucked away and my spaces presentable. All of my closets were packed but organized with boxes stacked in just the right way to maximize the space. It was a challenge! And I was going to win.
After about nine years of functioning as an adult this way, I was in a car accident and sustained a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury). My head never cracked open and it took four years to diagnose, so there weren’t the obvious signs. One thing that was abundantly clear though, was that I could no longer manage the stuffed full spaces in my closets and I couldn’t handle mail.
Ironically, I received a letter in the mail describing the symptoms of brain injury but was unable to read it. I knew all the words, but I couldn’t retain the words enough to understand the sentence. The sentence! I was instantly overwhelmed and would simply put it aside. In the ever-growing stack.
This is just one example of how circumstances can change. I’m ten years in and still unable to manage that detailed level of storage. Moves, divorces, new children, marriages, and so much more can add so much stress that we lose the ground we’ve always been able to maintain before.
Another factor is that not everyone presently has the skill to break down rooms full of stuff into a step-by-step project and if it’s your stuff, it’s even harder. In conditions where executive functioning is highly affected, this will be even more difficult to do yourself.
Life Stages:
There are times in our life that are very taxing to our brains such as having a newborn or taking care of an elderly parent. Even without excess things, these are stressful situations. If you also have all the excess items in your life, it just adds more to your to-do list.
This is a great reason to outsource this project. While most people don’t want to hand over decision-making, it’s worth gaining your sanity back to pass the planning over to someone else and have your hand held while working through the decisions.
Moves:
Moving is another stressful event. While it’s ideal to have decluttered before the move, many people have to move on short notice or don’t know what space they will land in, so decisions are vague and more taxing. With all that needs to be done in a move, it’s no surprise that things end up disorganized and feel more overwhelming than just managing day-to-day clutter.
Divorces and Loss:
The loss of loved ones adds additional stress. Emotional stress. Emotional stress puts you in a terrible place to make final decisions. If you had to plan a funeral or go through court proceedings on top of this, you’re likely already tired of making decisions. When you’re tired of making decisions, you’re more likely to give in to impulses. When you’re emotional, you’re more likely to give into coping behaviors such as buying things or eating out.
Stress: Positive vs. Negative:
Positive stress is as taxing on the mind as negative stress. It’s also easier to overcommit to positive things, such as extra hours at a job or volunteering with a group you love. You may feel more energy for those things, but you often have less for basic household maintenance.
When we are stressed, we fatigue faster and the last tasks of the day pay the price. Very often this is basic household maintenance. When the maintenance is ignored, the clutter piles up. Then we go from a mildly messy table to clutter everywhere we can shove it.
Depression:
What’s worse is if we’re depressed. Thankfully, I’ve never experienced depression that doesn’t relieve itself, but those days I do have are lost days with negative impact. Much like being down with a cold, you don’t have the ability to do those extra tasks and it builds up for however long you’re experiencing the symptoms. Talk to your doctor if you’ve experienced low motivation and energy for an extended period of time. There are many potential causes for low energy.
Remember that depression can look different for different people and it is not just suicidal thoughts. Sometimes it really is just a lack of interest in the things you normally take interest in or zoning out throughout the day, or even sleeping most of the day can be a sign of depression. There’re so many options to discuss with your doctor and mental health professionals and it is not typically something you can pull yourself out of. In my case, it’s a disorder that during the attacks my system is so overwhelmed it can’t manage anything and it passes when the attack passes.
Hope for the future:
None of these reasons should make you feel ashamed to use help when you can. While professional organizers can be expensive, once you’re into the maintenance phase it won’t cost much to have someone help you keep it up. Additionally, with virtual clutter coaching options, you can learn the skills used by organizers to set up and maintain organized spaces. Addressing underlying conditions is always advisable as they can hinder your ability to let go of items and get your money’s worth.
While many people worry that they are hoarders, typically they would not meet the clinical requirements. Letting go of things is a skill as well, so this can improve with anyone, including hoarding by seeking help. If you find yourself really struggling to let go of anything, you may have some underlying trigger that needs addressing by a mental health professional before you start working with an organizer. Otherwise, we can teach you skills and coping mechanisms to improve your ability to manage your household on your own.
